Hello friends! I know some people have been curious about Adelaide’s birth story, and I’m happy to share all the real details of how things went down. A huge reason I was able to have the birth experience I had was because of Chris’s involvement as “coach”, so I’ve asked him to share his side of the story in this post. I’m also working on my side of the story, so if you have any questions you’d be interested in having answered, just shoot me an email (kristinksch@gmail.com) or fb message and I’ll be sure to answer them next time! This is a lengthy post, as Chris and I wanted to record as many details as possible for our own memory and Adelaide's baby book. Without further ado, here’s Chris :)
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This is the story of Adelaide’s birth. It’s important to state upfront that Kristin and I had decided to do our best to bring Adelaide into this world naturally. Four months prior that wasn’t our plan, but after wanting to prepare and educate ourselves more about the birth process, we decided to take a Bradley course. In short, this is a 12 week class that covers preparation for natural child birth - things like: what to eat, what stretches/exercises to do, learning the stages of labor and practicing mental and physical relaxation, all in preparation of birthing the baby naturally. The mother of course has a lot to do, but the Bradley Method also puts a lot of responsibility on the father/coach. It is the coach’s job to help establish good food and exercise habits and practice relaxation. At birth, the coach is responsible for helping the mother relax during and in between contractions, be the advocate in the hospital, and know how to provide support during each critical phase of labor. So with that said, here’s Adelaide’s story.
The contractions started late evening of Tuesday August 6th. It was the first time that the contractions felt like “real” contractions for Kristin. At the time, the contractions weren’t overwhelming and the frequency was still someone sporadic. Kristin suggested we go ahead and get some rest. Thankfully we were both still very calm with these first contractions and were able to fall asleep.
Wednesday morning Kristin woke me up at about 5:00 AM as the contractions had started to get stronger and she could no longer sleep through them. We started timing them at this point and they were about 30 seconds long with an 8:00 min frequency. We started getting ready for the morning but both knew at this point we wouldn’t be going into work that day.
As the morning went on, I helped Kristin labor through the early contractions. Kristin tried a number of positions: sitting on the exercise ball, laying down, hands and knees, standing using me for support, and leaning on the stair railing. Around 10:00 AM we decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood. We knew from our Bradley class that walking can help labor progress by shimmying the baby into position and we thought it would be a good way for us to pass the time and get Lexi some exercise too. The way we were taught to manage contractions while walking is for the mother to face the father and wrap her arms over his shoulders. The mother is supposed to relax and mostly hang from the husband’s neck. This is how we handled contractions, walking through our neighborhood and pausing with every contraction so Kristin could deal with the contraction. I can only wonder what neighbors and drivers passing thought as they saw a very pregnant woman hanging from my shoulders obviously in pain, while I’m staring at my cell phone timing the contraction. I’m sure it was a sight.
The walk was very effective on all accounts. Time passed, Lexi exercised, and labor progressed! By the end of the walk, contractions had lengthened to 45 – 60 sec and the frequency had decreased to right around 5:00 minutes. We were both very pleased to see the labor progressing so quickly.
When we returned home we lied down to rest. We were trying to pass time and also save energy for the much harder stages of labor. As we napped though, labor seemed to take a step back, the frequency of contractions spacing out to 7:00 or more minutes. Every contraction also became much more difficult for Kristin. After about an hour, we decided that was enough, in hopes that labor would get moving in the right direction again.
Through lunch and early afternoon, we tried to stay on our feet in the house completing final touches on the house for baby’s arrival. Contractions again returned to 60 sec duration and 4:45 min frequency.
Now at this point, common practice would be to call the doctor and determine whether we should go to the hospital. Most hospitals will tell you to call once contractions are consistently 45 seconds or longer and 5:00 min or less in frequency. For us however, we had learned that as labor progresses the wife will experience a number of emotional sign posts. The emotional sign post we were waiting for was called “cave woman”. In “cave woman” labor, the mother has passed the point of talking in between contractions and is overwhelmed with the labor in a way that lessens her ability to communicate and she often speaks in very short phases or may not communicate at all. For us, this was the flag we were waiting to see prior to going to the hospital.
It was important to us to time our trip to the hospital well, because once at the hospital Kristin would no longer be able to drink fluids or eat. By staying a home longer, Kristin could eat and drink as she felt she needed. We also weren’t restricted to a birthing room and could lie down or walk as needed to help labor progress.
At the time, we thought it unfortunate that Kristin hadn’t experienced “cave woman” yet. Although her contractions were of the right frequency and duration, she was her normal self in between contractions. Kristin would talk, joke, and even laugh at the silly things I would say. We would later look back at this with thankfulness, but to us at the time, this meant there was plenty of labor left to go.
The afternoon came and at about 3:00 pm we thought another walk would be useful again. Similar to last time this consisted of Kristin hanging off my shoulders for contractions and a number of confused neighbors. And just as before, progress seem to speed up again. This time when we returned from the walk, contraction frequency had shortened to nearly 4:00 minutes, with a number of contractions even shorter.
Both feeling tired after the walk, we once again entertained the idea of resting. And again, after lying down, the contractions became far stronger and the frequency slowed to 7:00 minutes or more. Not waiting to see if things would improve with the nap this time, we both got up and worked to keep busy around the house. Kristin was now walking around our house, doing laps in hopes of accelerating the labor. Lexi was quite the labor companion too as she would follow Kristin where ever she went and would often sit next to her during a contraction and gently lick her hand or arm.
The most ideal labor position was established around this time. As mentioned before we had an exercise ball to help Kristin labor. For Kristin, the best position was kneeling on the floor and laying her torso over the exercise ball. And this is how labor progressed.
At around 5:00 pm the contractions had increased in intensity for Kristin and were much more difficult to stay relaxed through. I continued to coach her through each contraction, helping her to get through “just one more” and reminding her that each one was only a matter of seconds before minutes of rest would return.
In between contractions however, Kristin continued to be her mostly normal self. At this time she was getting more tired after laboring for over 12 hours, but still communicating normally and even laughing.
Seeing the contractions progress in frequency to 3:45 or less at this point, Kristin and I both were getting more nervous about when we really should head to the hospital. Kristin had not yet become a cave women, but I also knew that contractions really don’t get much less frequent than 3 to 4 minutes. The contractions had also increased in intensity and I could tell they were becoming far more difficult on Kristin.
Fearing that Kristin may never reach “cave women” and I could end up delivering the baby at home, I decided to call the hospital shortly after 5:00 PM. When the nurse picked up she asked her standard questions, one of which was “How frequent are the contractions?” Before I called, Kristin had just had a number of contractions with 3:30 min frequency. I told this to the nurse expecting a pretty significant reaction; after all, they recommend that you should go to the hospital when they are 5:00 min or less. This nurse was un-phased by my response and told me she would page the doctor and if I hadn’t received a call back within 30 min, I should call again and they would repage the doctor.
After hanging up I told Kristin the response I had received. We both quickly agreed that whether we had confirmation from the doctor or not, we would be heading to the hospital. Labor had progressed to stage that we both felt was hospital appropriate.
I began rushing around the house helping to get the final items we had yet to pack. These were small things as our main bags had been packed for weeks, but now I needed to load the very-helpful exercise ball into the car and other birthing essentials.
During this time I was rushing between our car in the garage and the main floor of our house where Kristin was (it’s a split level home, so there are stairs between the garage/basement and the main floor). In my urgency to get the final items loaded I was taking the stairs two at a time, and on my final trip, my right foot caught the edge of a stair on the way up. I flew forward onto the landing with a massive thud, instinctively grabbing at something to break my fall on the way down. I had reached for the hand railing and snagged one of the spindles, snapping it clean off the railing, and yelling “SHIT” on my way to the floor. I wasn’t hurt but laughing pretty hysterically over the ordeal, while Kristin continued to battle a contraction in our bed room. Kristin yelled out to see if I was okay, and when I told her what happened she began to laugh too. Kristin asked that I stop making her laugh, since laughing hurt in conjunction with the contractions. Still it was good to see Kristin laughing at this late stage of labor, but confusing that she was handling the labor so well at this point.
Shortly after my spill, the doctor returned my call just as we were getting ready to leave. She didn’t convey much urgency to me and said that the nurse would evaluate Kristin upon our arrival and confirm whether labor had progressed enough for us to stay at the hospital. This did provide me some relief because I figured if we had not progressed as far as we thought, we could potentially return home and labor in a more comfortable environment.
Fully packed, we headed to Overland Park Regional hospital – about a 5 mile drive from our house straight down Quivira Road. Oddly, once in the car, Kristin’s contractions changed - they got shorter and frequency decreased to nearly 7:00 min apart. Although we didn’t verbalize it to each other, I think we both doubted whether it was the right time to go to the hospital.
When we arrived at the hospital I pulled into the ER entrance which was the entrance recommended when we initially toured the hospital. During regular business hours the ER entrance has a valet service. A very helpful perk for any father-to-be who wants to stay with his laboring wife instead of parking the car. The valet approached the car during one of Kristin’s contractions and could obviously see she was in pain (no telling what an ER valet sees during his job). Recognizing this, he signaled to me asking if we needed a wheelchair, I vigorously shook my head yes.
While waiting for the wheelchair to arrive, I began to grab our bags, exercise ball, and yoga mat so we had all our items for the remainder of the labor. I was very thankful we had grabbed both the exercise ball and yoga mat because, before the wheelchair arrived, Kristin had to deal with a contraction right there, outside, in the ER driveway. I had the yoga mat laid out on the pavement for her to kneel on and the ball for her to brace herself over. I should also mention that contractions at this point are accompanied by long, low, groaning from Kristin which helped her manage the pain. Again, we were quite the sight I’m sure.
When the wheelchair arrived, it was pushed by an ER nurse. Our ER nurse was kind, but we were obviously the first pregnant couple she had taken to the 3rd floor of the hospital, Labor and Delivery. On the way to the elevator our nurse was asking multiple staff if they had access to the 3rd floor as she was fairly certain she didn’t (two months prior, the labor and delivery floor of the hospital had changed to being constantly locked down - visitors are buzzed in by security and staff must use badge access to gain entry to the floor). Multiple staff members reassured the nurse that since she worked in the ER, she should have access to any area of the hospital. Reassured by her coworkers, the nurse took us to the elevator and swiped her badge selecting the 3rd floor. The doors close … and nothing. The nurse tries a couple more times, but continues to be unsuccessful. At one point the doors even open again to another hospital staff member who asks us, “Are you getting off?” Kristin and I respond in unison “No!”
The new staff member now joins us. Also not having access to the 3rd floor she selects the 4th floor which is not restricted and contains the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). The nurses were hoping that someone from the NICU would have access to the labor and delivery floor. The doors open on the 4th floor and…. no one is in sight. As you can imagine, Kristin and I are becoming impatient at this point. The latest staff member to join us went in search of someone to help us gain 3rd floor access, and actually returned with someone who could help. Kristin handled this situation well though, only threatening to take the stairs once and coping with a contraction in a very uncomfortable wheelchair.
Finally arriving on the 3rd floor, our ER nurse escorted us to triage to be evaluated for admittance. On the way we passed the Labor & Delivery Nurses Station where our ER nurse would typically hand us off. Unfortunately there was not a Labor & Delivery Triage nurse in site; it was like a ghost town. Our ER nurse wheeled Kristin down the hall closer to the triage rooms and asked us to sit tight while she went to hunt down a Triage nurse.
When our ER nurse returned she promised that someone from L & D would be with us soon and that she would get us setup in Triage 2. Before us stood four doors, none of which were labeled, and our ER nurse pondered out loud, “I think this is Triage 2” as she wheeled Kristin to the 2nd door from the left. Meanwhile, all I could think was, “This better be Triage 2; I don’t want to birth a baby in Triage 3 because the nurse couldn’t find us!” A little dramatic, maybe, but I wasn’t getting a good initial impression of our admission into the hospital.
Once settled in Triage 2 (yes, it was the 2nd door from the left), the triage nurse quickly joined us. Before the nurse joined us though, Kristin had the only instance of doubt I believe she had in the entire labor. I think at this point Kristin was in the transition phase of labor. Transition is the last stage of active labor, and it is well known as the most intense and difficult phase. Often this is when a mother working toward a natural birth will finally ask for an epidural. For Kristin it was a little different. She had been laboring for 13 hours and still wasn’t sure how much longer labor would take and whether she would have enough energy to finish. The only indication of Transition was Kristin saying under a few tears, in between contractions, “What if I have 13 more hours of this, I don’t think I can do it.” Fortunately for both of us, we didn’t realize how close to the end we really were.
When the nurse arrived, her first task was to hook two monitors to Kristin’s stomach. The first was to monitor baby’s heart rate, the second to monitor Kristin’s contractions. These initial readings, or “initial strip” as it’s called, are typically taken for 20 to 30 minutes to confirm the mom is having frequent enough contractions to be admitted and baby’s heart is handling them well. This equipment is wired to the computer and only allowed 5 feet of movement for Kristin. The yoga ball and mat stayed with us and the 5 feet of mobility was just enough to allow Kristin to labor lying over the ball.
After a few contractions, Kristin was asked to return to the bed so the nurse could complete her second check, the cervical exam. In this exam, three main measurements are taken: dilation, effacement, and station. Pushing will start once dilation is 10 cm, effacement is 100%, and often when the baby is at station 0 (baby’s head has descended to the narrowest point in the pelvis). Our nurse stopped abruptly during this exam, looked at Kristin and said, “You’re dilated to a 7 or an 8. You’re going to be having this baby soon!” She then told us to sit tight; she was going to find the doctor. On the way out the door Kristin asked for the other two stats. The nurse replied, “You’re 100% effaced and baby is station 0 or +1. If you feel the urge to push, DON’T. And if you do, pull that cord out of the wall.” The nurse pointed to the monitoring cord plugged into the wall. When pulled, it would signal an emergency for someone to return to the room. And with that, the triage nurse left.
This feedback from the nurse gave Kristin the encouragement she needed. Adelaide was much closer than she had thought! From then on, Kristin never showed any doubt whether she could complete the birth and there never was any request for medicine.
When the nurse returned, she let us know it was time to move to the delivery room. She was not interested in delivering a baby in the triage room. At this point we got to meet the L & D nurse that would join us for the rest of the labor, Kelsey. Kelsey began frantically working to get the room setup for the delivery. Normally the hospital would have more time to setup for our arrival in this room, but due to our timing, we had put the hospital on a tighter timeline. We had only stayed in the triage room for 10 minutes before moving on. The triage nurse didn’t even have time to complete our check-in paperwork. Instead we now sat in the delivery room, Kristin lying over the exercise ball, and our new nurse Kelsey explaining check-in paperwork to me so I could show Kristin where to sign and initial. Yes, Kristin was signing paperwork in-between contractions, while laboring on the exercise ball.
As things became more organized in the delivery room, Kelsey began to discuss details regarding the delivery with us. It was comforting to know she had reviewed our preadmission paperwork with our birth preferences and knew we were working toward a natural birth. She offered a couple of different options such as the birthing bar which allows a natural squatting position on the bed to help baby to continue to move down. She also told us that she had only seen the birth bar used one other time; women with epidurals aren’t able to use them because their legs cannot hold them in a squat position.
The delivery room was far different than I had expected. Not in equipment or size, but in the number of personnel at the birth. It just seemed so different than what I had seen on TV. Often times only Kelsey was with us, and even she would occasionally leave for a minute or two to finish our check in process (always warning us to pull the monitoring cord from the wall if Kristin felt the urge to push in her absence).
It took about one hour once we had moved into the delivery room before the doctor arrived. It wasn’t Dr. Nguyen, Kristin’s normal OB, but Dr. Minderman another doctor from the practice since Dr. Nguyen was not on call that night. Dr. Minderman turned out to be an awesome replacement. As soon as she joined us in the room, she had a very calming and encouraging demeanor. One of the first things she said to Kristin after her initial examination was, “You’re going to have a baby soon!” This again, helped to fuel Kristin’s energy and focus on the birth.
Not long after the doctor arrived she completed another cervical check and confirmed it would soon be time to push – it was nearly 8:00 pm. Within minutes Kristin was holding onto the squat bar and pushing with every contraction. During one of these pushes, Kristin’s water finally broke. It broke during a time when she was pushing so hard that the amniotic fluid shot across the room. I believe my reaction was, “WHOA!!!” It was quite the sight.
The amniotic fluid was not clear though, it was light green, and this means the baby has likely had their first bowel movement before birth. This becomes more common as babies pass their due dates. The older they are, the more likely they are to do this before birth. When this occurs though, there is some risk to the baby that they could aspirate the meconium (early baby poop) and have issues breathing once born. What this meant for us was that a NICU nurse would need to be present for the birth to ensure Adelaide was breathing okay once born.
Kelsey called up to NICU and notified them of the situation. During this time there was never any concern shown by the doctor or nurse, it was just calm explanation of facts which I believe really helped us stay calm at the moment. I had some concern but never really dwelled on it because of the way it was presented.
Kristin continued to labor like a champion. She never seemed discouraged and often looked up at me saying, “I’m going to do this. We’re going to have a baby!”
As the pushing progressed and Adelaide was moving much closer to crowning, Kristin moved to a reclined position and Kelsey and I held Kristin’s legs up to help open the pelvis. As I held Kristin’s right leg, I looked her in the eye offering encouraging words, and I had a front row seat to a show I wasn’t expecting to watch. I was surprised by my involvement in the delivery. I had always told myself that I would not watch my child be born; I would stay by Kristin’s shoulders, looking her in the eye and encouraging her from there. But it turns out the birth was far more exciting and incredible than traumatizing and scary. As Adelaide’s head started to show and she moved closer and closer with each push, I was able to tell Kristin what great progress she was making and how much hair Adelaide had. Again more encouragement for Kristin and more of her saying, “I’m going to do this. We’re going to have a baby!”
Before too long the delivery room looked a lot more like I had pictured it. Kelsey was holding Kristin’s left leg, I was holding the right. The doctor was at Kristin’s feet with her assistant ready to deliver the baby. At least three other nurses, I believe from the NICU, were also in the room. We had a packed house.
As Adelaide’s head moved closer and closer, Dr. Menderman and Kelsey coached Kristin through each push and each breath. At the point of nearly crowning, the doctor asked Kristin to rest to allow time for Adelaide to rest and allow time for some additional stretching before Adelaide would officially crown. Kristin did incredible and the doctor and nurse even stated how impressed they were with Kristin’s control.
With the next push, Adelaide’s head was exposed and a quick second pushed forced the rest of her body free. Adelaide immediately started crying which made us both feel better about the state of her lungs and whether there were issues with the meconium. She was born at 9:08 pm, a little over an hour after Kristin started pushing.
The NICU nurse did a quick check of Adelaide’s stats and quickly confirmed everything was okay. They moved her back to Kristin’s chest and allowed them to have some skin-to-skin time. Adelaide was wide awake and alert after the birth and she eager to be held by her mom. Kristin began to nurse as the doctor stitched her up and Kelsey introduced Pitocin into Kristin’s IV drip to help slow post-birth bleeding.
Kristin was stitched and her bleeding was well controlled within the first hour which allowed for our first breath of calmness after birth. Adelaide was nursing and I was at their side taking the first video of her life. As Kristin reached under the covers to adjust Adelaide, she pulled her hand back out and it was covered in what appeared to be black tar. Adelaide, being so comfortable in her new surroundings, had pooped a large pudding-y like poop all over Kristin under the blanket. We couldn’t stop laughing as Adelaide was giving us a proper welcome to parenthood.
Adelaide bright eyed and alert after being weighed.
Kelsey took Adelaide to clean her off and looked at me with a smile, “You know, a lot of people would say your wife is pretty awesome. I’d say she’s a freak. I don’t see women with epidurals handle labor that well.” I didn’t have much to say back, but just smiled and said, "I think she's pretty awesome too."
