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174 contractions...
174 contractions. It's hard to conceptualize, but when you think about a 1 minute contraction occurring every 5 minutes, you'll realize that 174 contractions works out to be roughly 14.5 hours. Kristin's labor was much closer to 18 hours, and every contraction was tracked from beginning to end. Just as with Adelaide's birth, we had planned and prepared for this to be a medicine free labor. Using the Bradley Method, it was my role as the coach to encourage Kristin through each contraction and be her advocate in the hospital. With each contraction I used the contraction timer on my phone to encourage Kristin, letting her know a contraction was almost over and she would have another few minutes of rest soon. The app kept a full history of the contractions and I realize as I write this how cool it is to actually have this record.
Kristin's contractions officially began at 7:30 PM on July 16th. It was a Thursday, an office work-day for Kristin, and we were talking about what else we could do to prepare for baby's birth. She was just about ready to leave for the grocery store when the first contraction began. Earlier in the day she experienced milder contractions at work, but they had subsided after lunch so we thought they were a false alarm. These contractions were almost immediately consistent, about 7 minutes apart. Having just put Adelaide to bed we decided it was time to call my mom to drive up from Wichita so she could be there for Adelaide after we left for the hospital.
7:30 to 10:00 PM was pretty uneventful, but we kept busy packing last minute hospital items and managing each contraction one by one. Throughout this period, Kristin's contractions were pretty consistent, at 1 minute in duration and 6-7 minutes apart.
Around 10:00 PM my mom arrived and we decided it would be best to try and get some rest. My mom got settled in and we moved into our bedroom to try and sleep for the night. Unfortunately sleep did not come easy. We quickly moved from the bed to our bathroom where I started a bath so Kristin could labor in the tub. The water was an effective tool in helping to manage contractions but Kristin had much less mobility, and finding a comfortable position for contractions took some time.
Kristin did amazing though, continuing to talk, joke, and laugh in between contractions. But just as with Adelaide’s birth, it was difficult to tell whether we should leave for the hospital soon. All throughout the pregnancy we had heard numerous stories of second labors moving ridiculously fast. Kristin even had a coworker that had her second child 45 minutes after the first contraction! Because of our concern about a super fast labor, and our inability to gauge how far along Kristin is in labor (see Adelaide's birth story here) we were both very concerned that our second child could be accidentally born at home or on the side of the road while driving to the hospital.
This picture was taken in between contractions.
Lexi serving as secondary coach.
So finally at 1:00 AM I called the doctor to describe the current situation: contractions consistently 45 sec or longer and durations of 5 min or less. I spoke with Dr. Arroyo (not Kristin's regular OB but the doctor on-call for the evening), and he gave us the okay to come in. We left around 1:30 AM for the hospital.
The ride to the hospital (which is only a couple miles away) went incredibly well. Fortunately Kristin only had one contraction while in the car. If we had arrived during the day, we would have been able to use the free valet service and go into the hospital together without worrying about parking the car. Arriving at 2:00 in the morning, there was no valet and the only open hospital entrance was the Emergency Room. So instead of having Kristin walk with me from the parking lot, I dropped her off at the Emergency Entrance and I went to park the car, leaving her to manage any contractions by herself, in the ER waiting room, with one random stranger.
Once I got into the hospital, check-in went very smoothly. When we arrived on the delivery floor we were immediately checked in and taken to a triage room. Triage 2 - the same room we used when Adelaide was born. I was amazed at how it seemed so little time had passed since we were last in that room, when it had actually been two years.
Kristin's check was very positive. The baby's vitals looked healthy and Kristin was dilated to 6 or 7 cm. The nurse also noted that the baby was "very low" although she didn't let us know station or effacement.
Much less urgent then with Adelaide, but still with speed, we were moved to the delivery room and they called the doctor. Things appeared to be moving along quite well. When we arrived in the room we found out that our delivery nurse was Kelsey, the same nurse that helped to deliver Adelaide. We were pretty excited about this because we really liked Kelsey's demeanor. She was really supportive without being invasive and always made sure Kristin was comfortable. We also soon met with the doctor and he let us know that we would likely have our baby in our arms before dawn.
We requested a room with a bathtub and were lucky that one was available. From 3:00 - 6:00 AM Kristin spent most of her time laboring in the tub which helped a lot. We would also walk the hospital halls to help shimmy the baby into position and speed along labor. At 6:00 AM Kristin had another check and measured at 8/8+ cm, so she was progressing but not as fast as we had expected.
Soon 7:00 AM came and it was time for shift change. Unfortunately Kelsey's shift had ended so she wouldn't get to be there for the delivery of our second. But as a good bit of fortune, the doctor on call also changed at this time and the replacement doctor was Dr. Newby, the doctor we had been seeing while Kristin's normal OB was out of the office. We were excited to be working with a doctor that knew us from previous office visits, and we both liked Dr. Newby's approach.
From 7:00 to 10:00 AM labor continued well, Kristin remaining in very good spirits. We walked the halls and Kristin labored in the bath. At 10:00 AM Kristin had another check, only 9 cm. The doctor assured us everything was going well, but we were still wondering what was taking so long. Kristin and baby looked good and as long as we wanted to keep laboring naturally, we could. The Doctor would lightly offer that there were 'methods' to help speed things along if we wanted, but it was completely up to us. Still hoping that things would finish themselves on their own, we continued without medical intervention. Around this time Kristin took selfies and texted a couple friends that she was stuck at 9 cm and the baby was in no mood to be evicted today.
Kristin’s mood and energy level were stunning. As we continued to walk the halls, many nurses would see us and not believe that Kristin was at 9 cm because she was remaining so calm. We even had one nurse tell us that she saw us walking around and thought "well that girl's going home soon, she's not really in labor". Later she found out that Kristin was at 9 cm and couldn't believe it. I love sharing this because it's amazing to me; Kristin was definitely blessed by God with a near supernatural ability to labor incredibly well and without medicine. We have even joked that it's her superpower.
Around 11:00 AM I texted a few guys from our church small-group and asked that they pray for us because labor had seemed to have completely stalled. It was a great surprise when one of the wives of the group started texting me back. Our friend Lindsay is a labor and delivery nurse and started offering tips she had used with mothers to help labor progress. One of the most helpful texts was an exchange where she explained that Kristin's labor was sounding a lot like one of the deliveries of her kids. She had labored extensively and then got stuck close to 9 cm. Labor had stalled and her water hadn’t broken yet. It was virtually identical for Kristin, stuck at 9 cm with her bag of waters intact. She explained that once she reached that point in her labor, the doctor broke her water and her baby was born within 10 minutes.
This was encouraging news! We really didn't want to have any interventions but it offered a glimmer of hope. We were both nervous that breaking Kristin’s water could make labor more difficult and intense, the bag of waters acting like a cushion during contractions. With Adelaide, Kristin's water didn't break until she started pushing so we were certain it helped her get through the labor med-free. We also didn't want to 'rush things' if the baby was in an awkward position and just hadn't found its way into the correct spot yet. At 12:30 PM Kristin again measured at 9 cm with no noticeable progress. At this point we asked to meet with the doctor to discuss our options. We met with Dr. Newby at 12:45 and her first suggestion, without us mentioning anything, was to have Kristin's water broken. She said she could almost guarantee that the baby would be born within the following hour if we did so. We explained our concern of how breaking the water may make labor more intense and she responded with a great analogy. The doctor said, "when you're pushing a watermelon through a straw, wrapping that melon in a water balloon won't make that much of a difference." Although it may not sound very comforting, it was what we needed to hear! She also explained that it was possibly the bag of waters preventing the baby from moving further down. That it could be creating just enough thickness around the baby that it couldn’t slide down. She also confirmed that breaking the water was the least invasive and most natural intervention she could perform. We agreed to do it.
The breaking of Kristin's water was quick and easy. No big gush, just a slow trickle and then we waited. Her water was broken around 1:00 PM and we sat for over 10 minutes while we waited for the next contraction. Finally, around 1:10, Kristin felt her first contraction and immediately needed to push. She looked at me with the most intense eyes I have ever seen and said very urgently "I need to push!" The doctor had stepped out at this point so the nurse quickly ran out of the room to grab the doctor. On the way out of the room the nurse kept saying "Don't push, don't push..." Kristin just kept looking at me, eyes wide, VERY INTENSE, repeating "I need to push! I need to push!" I’ve never seen a look like that, it was like her life was being threatened! All I could do was hold her hand and say "I know, don't push. It'll be okay, don't push!"
Fortunately, Kristin's incredible willpower won out and she was able to hold back until the doctor returned one or two minutes later. Once the pushing started it didn't seem to end. When Adelaide was born, Kristin pushed for nearly an hour with plenty of rest between each push. This time, the pushing only took about 10 minutes and was nearly continuous. Our baby's head was out in three pushes and with the fourth push we had a baby! We had waited to find out the gender, so the doctor immediately held the baby up for me to announce it. I got to share with the entire room that we had delivered a girl - Evelyn Grace (Evie for short). Evie cried immediately and they placed her on Kristin's chest to stay warm. And to properly remind Kristin of what it's like to have a newborn, Evie promptly peed on her.
Evie was born at 1:20 PM July 17th. She weighed 6 lb 10 oz and was 20.5 inches long. We were so thankful that things progressed quickly after Kristin's water was broken and the labor never intensified beyond her ability to handle it. After Evie was born, she remained with Kristin for quite a while. We stayed in the delivery room for about two hours while Kristin was stitched and they confirmed blood loss was under control. Evie started eating right away and hasn't looked back since (at 1 month old she had already exceeded 9 lbs). All the nurses and doctors cheered Kristin for her endurance and control. I’m still in awe of Kristin and how incredibly she handled labor. She is an extraordinary woman and I am so thankful to have another beautiful baby girl.
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Now a week before Evie’s first birthday I’m still in awe of my wife - her ability to persevere, handling the stresses of birth, caring for a newborn, rearing a toddler, and her mom’s cancer diagnosis and death in this last year. And she did not just ‘persevere’, but she persevered with love and grace. I’m not saying life hasn’t been messy and our relationship hasn’t hit bumps, but I am so grateful for Kristin’s faith and how it grounds her. In this broken and beautiful world I am so thankful that God brought us together to share this life, its pains and its triumphs, and has given me this family with two amazing and beautiful little girls. It truly is Magic in the Mess.
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