Doe, a deer, a female deer. Ray, a drop of golden sun.

After our 14-year-old dog, Lexi, died in May, I was the lone holdout when it came to adopting a new dog. I finally agreed (read: caved) and on August 26th, 2023 this baby joined us from Wayside Waifs. Meet Clover.  

(No one was more thrilled than Evie.)

Looking back, this was poor timing and a load added to a season that was already too heavy for me. I definitely did not remember how much extra mental load a puppy adds, and I absolutely was not ready for it. It turns out, Clover has been a companion I didn't know I'd need this fall. To say this has not been the easiest season would be an understatement, but in this wilderness, I see a ray, a drop of golden sun.  

On Thursday last week, Clover and I were on a walk on the trail near our home. Earlier that morning, I had used the Lectio 365 prayer app and this was the scripture chosen for the day:   

"Remember not the former things,

nor consider the things of old. 

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

The wild beasts will honour me, the jackals and the ostriches,

for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert,

to give drink to my chosen people."

-Isaiah 43:18-20

The imagery of God giving water in the wilderness, and the reminder that even the wild beasts are directed by God was the perspective shift I needed. I pictured wild jackals listening and being led by his hand, and was comforted by the thought of God's charge for these cunning hunters. I believe this is true about God. I believe that God sees and cares for each of his creatures in specific ways, and in a wilderness season where I've seriously wondered what God's up to, I asked him to help my unbelief.  To increase my trust, to increase my belief, to increase my love for him and this world.  To give me clear eyes.

So Clover and I go on our walk this particular Thursday. One route we take involves crossing a bridge, immediately reaching our halfway mark, turning around, and re-crossing the same bridge. So we did just that, only when we turned around, the most beautiful and majestic doe was standing in the middle of the bridge staring us down.  Where did she come from?  I'd not seen a deer 30 seconds earlier, and I'm always looking for them.  She stared at us with knowing eyes, an intensity I've not experienced with an animal in the wild. If she was fearful, she didn't show it. She was alone, which is rare as well, generally, I see the deer in herds of 3-5, where there's one there's usually another. She didn't budge and so we just looked at each other for a long while, Clover's still gaze didn't frighten her in the least. Clover and I made the first move, walking forward, slowly, and she eventually backed off the bridge to a grassy area next to it, watching us the entire time. I wish I had a camera, but some moments are meant to be captured in our mind's memory instead. 

"The wild beasts will honour me, the jackals and the ostriches,

for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert,

to give drink to my chosen people."