On "Confusement"

     Lately, I've been more consistently writing out my expectations for the girls after they get home from school. For the most part, it's the typical, put your backpack away, practice piano, and do your homework variety. Occasionally, I'll throw in something extra just to keep it spicy. The other day after they finished the list I reminded them that they needed to pick up the living room; it had been littered with their things and I was D-O-N-E. Evie immediately responded in a shrill voice, "BUT YOU SAID WE COULD PLAY AFTER THE CHECKLIST! YOUR EXPECTATIONS AREN'T CLEAR! THAT'S WHAT IS CAUSING THE CONFUSEMENT!" This made me chuckle because even though confusement isn't a word in Merriam-Webster, it probably should be, and I'm going to hang onto this one because she's at an age where I no longer hear many made-up words. 

    While trying to choke down my smile (unsuccessfully), I reminded her that picking up things on the main floor is something we always need to do, which is why it was missing from the whiteboard. I offered to include it on the checklist going forward. She was less than pleased but understood my point.

    So this week I had my own encounter with "confusement" compliments of Jesus. I'm currently studying The Sermon On The Mount with Jen Wilkin. The first several beatitudes given by Jesus in his most well-known and lengthy sermon are as follows:

"And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." -Matthew 5:2-3

    I've heard this sermon many times. Yet, after a quick initial reading, I had lots of questions. How can the poor in spirit "be blessed" with the kingdom of heaven? What does it actually mean to be blessed? What does it mean to be poor in spirit? Cue "confusement."

    First of all, it feels as though the word "blessed" has been distorted by the #BLESSED movement on social media. In fact, I nearly skimmed over the word "blessed" because it's been so twisted by my encounters on Instagram. 

    Fortunately, The Bible Project Podcast is also doing a yearlong deep dive on The Sermon on The Mount, and the content is exceptional. They spent an entire episode, 34 minutes total, discussing the meaning of one word: "blessed." They explain the following in the podcast summary: 

    "The Greek word translated as 'blessed' is makarios, and its Hebrew equivalent is ashrey, which means 'the good life.' But there's another Hebrew word for blessing, barukh, which refers to blessings from God." Isn't it fun to learn the meaning of a single word in a foreign language that has no tangible equivalent in English? It is one of the many small delights in life. 

    After listening for 34 minutes I'll summarize it as: "Barukh is the Hebrew word used when you want to highlight that God is the one who has brought about abundance, safety, and security in someone's life." I almost want to replace the word blessing with barukh in my everyday vernacular. Perhaps upon receiving good news from a friend, I'll use this greeting, "Barukh are you, friend!" The Bible Project even goes a bit further to substitute the word "blessing" with the phrase "how good is life" in a paraphrase of the beatitudes, so the first beatitude could be interpreted as "how good is life for the poor in spirit."

    I felt a bit better about my understanding of blessed, but still felt "confusement" about what it meant to be "poor in spirit." My initial thought was that this was someone who felt anxiety (relatable) or quite possibly, more severe depression. Given my definitions, I couldn't follow Jesus on his train of thought here.

    Jen Wilkin saves the day. Jen explains in the video study that the Sermon On The Mount provides an understanding of where "Our character takes root and where our character bears fruit. Character takes root in poverty, grief, submission, and famine...Poverty doesn't necessarily mean financial poverty but spiritual poverty. Someone who is 'poor in spirit' is someone who recognizes their great spiritual need. Too often, we think about God as an add-on to our good life, but we don't fully understand the depth of our need. Only someone deeply aware of their lack can confess their need, and in that confession, the kingdom of God is given to them." 

The "confusement" started to clear. 

I re-read the Beatitudes, and they show the compounding effect of this understanding: 

'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." -Matthew 5:2-3

    Jen named that "thousands have admitted their sin, but have never truly mourned it. When do you truly turn from sin? When you recognize it for what it is and daily turn from it. Many of us come to church to be blessed, not to mourn, but we can't be comforted if we haven't mourned our sins. Comfort comes from mourning sin."

Jen further summarizes Jesus teaching by saying the following: 

"You recognize your spiritual need for Jesus --> You mourn your sin --> You are meek (gentle) --> Anything the Lord sends our way is a gift this side of heaven."

Woof and Bingo. Now I could see the beatitudes clearly. The "confusement" cleared. It brought to mind 2 Corinthians 3:18, one of my favorite verses: "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another." Transformation is a lifelong process in Jesus' kingdom, not a one-time occurrence, and we are told to expect it to be one iota of glory to the next iota of glory, day by day. Painfully slow yet persistent and faithful. My expectations of my Christian walk shifted a few degrees.   

    Each of us have various starting lines for our transformation and blind spots that make the journey less smooth. The Christian life isn't simply an upward 45-degree growth angle; there are shoots and dips along the way as God reveals more of himself and ourselves to us. This is perhaps a different expectation than I started this Christian journey with, but a better expectation and a better word for all of us, clearing the "confusement" of how the life of a Christian is intended to look. The dips and cracks are part of the process. God uses those dips for our growth and our sanctification. In the meantime, I continue to seek God wholeheartedly and simply pray that when I reach the end of my numbered days, I hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." 

Lord, make it so.